Woeful Wodents

For a time as a teen I raised hamsters and sold the babies to local pet stores. I was under the delusion that this could be a money making venture. Had I ever bothered to calculate the cost of cages, food, and bedding compared to how much I made selling baby hamsters, I would have been very clear that I was hopelessly in the red. And that didn't even count "accidents."

For example, one time my female hamster, Katy, somehow escaped her cage. I put out food and kept watch for her, thinking that sooner or later I would find her. And I was almost right. My Mom found my hamster ... making a new nest in her vacuum bag, through which Katy had chewed a hole to gain access. In her cage, Katy's bed was an old sock put over the end of an empty tissue core. Katy would crawl through the tunnel into the sock and sleep there. When she was out of her cage, I suppose the vacuum bag had a simlar texture and feel and Katy made her own tunnel to fashion a new bed.

I believe the new vacuum bag cost $45, which in 1967 was more than I could have ever hoped to earn selling baby hamsters. When Mom found Katy she said to me, "We won't tell your Dad about this." Thanks, Mom, for saving my life.

Another experience still makes me laugh when I think about it. Our South Jordan house had a very small closet just off the kitchen. One day my Mom opened the closet door and saw a mouse. The mouse, frightened out of its wits, took off running through the kitchen and into the living room with Mom in close pursuit with a broom. In the living room, the mouse ran behind the full-length curtain to hide and actually started climbing the curtain fabric as Mom tried to swat it with the broom. When Mom shook the curtain, the mouse fell to the floor and raced back across the living room, through the kitchen, and under the closet door to its original hiding place. Mom readied her broom and flung open the closet door to face her nemesis. The mouse, desperately trying to escape, ran straight at Mom in a frantic effort to get past her and find a safer hiding place. Mom jumped straight up in the air and came down right on the mouse, which promptly declared her the undisputed winner and never moved again. Mom immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up.