Happy April Fools' Day!

Of all the April Fools’ Day pranks I have experienced, one stands out more clearly in my mind than all the rest. I can certainly recall a number of “smaller” pranks, some of which were repeated year after year in our family. For example, the first person at our kitchen sink the morning of April 1 would, when turning on the water, typically be squirted by the sink sprayer, which was rigged with a rubber band and pointed directly in front of the faucet. And because sugar and salt are not easily distinguished, a bowl of breakfast cereal would certainly be a different taste experience. Also, a sleepy-eyed person making the first visit of the day to the bathroom might have a plastic-wrap surprise when using the toilet. These pranks are certainly funnier to the one doing the planning than to the victim!

When we lived in Salt Lake City, I typically took the bus to and from work. Because my commute was over an hour each way, I usually was quite tired by the time I would get home. Often the highlight of my day was being met by the kids, who would watch for the bus to arrive and would run out of the house to greet me.

One day I was puzzled when I exited the bus because no one appeared to welcome me home. Upon entering the house, I was shocked to see one of the girls lying on the couch wrapped in blood-stained bandages. Everyone had very grave looks on their faces and I immediately assumed the worst, thinking that my child had been hit by a car.

Why is that the first thing I would think? When I was a young boy, about 6-7 years old, I actually was hit by a car. The “main road” near my house was in reality not a very busy street. Pick-up baseball games would often be played in the front yard of the Ortega house and the outfield would reach out into the street. One day I happened to step back just as a car was passing and I was knocked to the ground (but not seriously hurt). This experience was pretty traumatic for me (I was hit by a CAR!) and caused me to be very cautious with my own children.

After seeing my obvious distress and the shocked look on my face, everyone burst out with “April Fool!” and I realized that I had been had … hook, line, and sinker. I was so relieved that nothing was seriously wrong AND so mad that everyone had banded together to play such a vile, mean, underhanded trick on me. My next thought? How could I do even better next April 1!