Unanimous vote

At work we have "aisle parties" in our department. Each month the inhabitants of the cubicles along a particular aisle plan some type of fun/celebration activity. This month Aisle E, my aisle, decided to build on theme of the Iowa State Fair, which is taking place this week. So we hosted "An E-fair to remember."

Each office was decorated in some fashion or became an exhibit, such as a petting zoo or a fortune teller or a talent stage and so on. And we also sponsored a number of contests, such as guessing the number of corn kernels in a jar or guessing the weight of one of my co-workers (note - this was guessing the weight of all the "stuff" in her cluttered office, not her personal weight).

For some reason I just can't understand, I was nominated to be the World's Biggest Bore (those familiar with the Iowa State Fair will understand the play on the word Bore). This was a unanimous vote! So I plastered my office with pictures of the grandchildren ("Ask me about my grandkids!!!) and hooked to my belt a leather holster holding my slide rule. I was not successful in finding a pocket protector, so my costume was not quite complete.

We turned this into a project to help the local food bank with a contest to see which aisle would contribute the most canned goods or money. And we had a number of competitions for prizes, including a coin toss into glass dishes, cow races on a Wii system, and a balloon sculpting contest. We capped off the week with a variety of different types of "food on a stick" (okay, on toothpicks) and my world famous dry ice root beer (this was our alcohol-free beer tent). We raised about $300 for the food bank and had a great time.

In today's economy with so much concern about jobs and finances, it is great to work for a company and with co-workers that care about people and having some fun. Somehow the Iowa State Fair just won't seem the same this year.

In starting my reign as the World's Biggest Bore, let me take a few moments to say how proud I am to represent the people of the state of Iowa and to mention several accomplishments ... (by the way, did I tell you about my grandchildren???).

Memory full

When I was a boy I used to memorize much more than I do today. Now when almost anything can be found online there seems little need to memorize. A more useful skill is knowing how to search.

My earliest memories of memorizing are connected with church and giving what was once known as "two and a half minute talks" in Primary. I'm not sure where the time frame of two and a half minutes came from, but I clearly remember memorizing remarks and repeating these over and over again to make sure I stayed within the allotted time. Later I memorized the Boy Scout Law and the Articles of Faith (which I still repeat at night when I am having trouble sleeping).

Later memorizing was associated with school work. For spelling bees I memorized the correct spelling of thousands of words, many very obscure. (One of the things I hate most about aging is losing confidence in knowing how to spell. My journal is laced with words that have little question marks beside them, indicating my uncertainty about the spelling. Hmm, I think I need to invent a pen with a spell-check feature!) And being skilled at memorizing turned out to be a critical skill in test taking. The education process in my day rewarded memorization and short-term retention for taking tests far more than critical thinking or effective problem solving. I owe my scholarship award in part to the ability to memorize prodigious amounts of information!

Learning foreign languages (Russian and Vietnamese) involved a great deal of memorization. I can still remember making the transition from memorization and translating to actually thinking in these languages. Once I became fluent, at times I had to translate back into English because my native tongue had become my second language! I memorized my patriarchal blessing, missionary discussions, and seminary scripture mastery scriptures.

Today I can remember little of what I once memorized. I struggle to recall a joke for more than a few minutes. I have always had an unusual memory for numbers and for years could recall the address and phone number of every place I lived. But I can no longer reliably do so. I have to look up the dates of family member birthdays. I do still remember the lyrics to some favorite songs. And for some reason, one particular poem is indelibly etched on my mind. It made a tremendous impression on me as a college freshman and somehow has stuck with me for nearly four decades.

A slender strand of sophistry,
All tenuous and tangly,
Soft and sweetly strangled me.

The only source I can find for this simple but powerful poem is Jennifer Sainsbury, “Worldly Knowledge,” New Era, Jun 1972, 51.

It is fun to remember some things; others are best left unremembered. One of the wisest things I ever read was a definition of life as "the process of exchanging time for memories." I wish I could remember where I read this ...